Ok, lets close this review up

Final stretch...

Four meals in the Toughest Strip Club in LA is just what it sounds like.  Honestly, not that much about food here, but I did learn a new cocktail.  The ingeniously-named "Adios, Motherfucker", a long island with blue curucao instead of triple sec and 7up instead of coke.  According to one of the dancers, its 'all the rage in Paris.'  That was the single best thing I read in this mag.

The Breast Giveth- Is a discussion of milk and food that comes from it, with recipes.  Forgettable, but there is a cool frozen yogurt version of Key Lime Pie i'd like to try.

Make Yourself Useful- is a kind of unsettling story about a trek through the jungle killing and stuffing exotic birds.  Not really for me, but you might find it interesting.

Meat Maids is a nasty photo-essay of some butcher women in Ho Chi Mihn's Chinatown.  They must not like ice or refrigerators there.

Amaranth is a short story about a girl in an awful situation taking control of it in a very negative way.  A good read, but frankly disturbing.  Don't see what it was doing in Lucky Peach, but I read it and I'm glad I did.

Then, a couple of mom's meatloaf recipes.  Pretty standard, but I love the way they are written.  Real cooks talking to real cooks.  You should check this one out.  Ignore the photo of the dude in red trunks.

Then a really, really weird article about sexual reproduction from Harold McGhee.  A little too technical for me, but it raised some interesting points about the future of genetically modified produce.

And lastly, a bizarre little piece about turtle scrotum tea, which Jamaicans (apparently) drink for enhanced sexual male performance.  Should have been on the man side.



That's all babe.  Some of it was a little silly, but there was good in there.  I can't wait to talk about the next issue.

Lucky Peach Gender Issue Review Part II

Ok, we continue.

Next feature (continuing on the male side): The First Cut is the Deepest
-Okay, this one is a little gross, but culinarily, it is the most interesting of the issue so far.  It discusses the capon industry.  (A capon is a rooster that is castrated as a chick.  They grow big, mild, and tender.)  The article talks about what to do with all of the extra testicles.  This is a little nasty, but I sincerely believe that as custodians of meat, we need to understand the nasty parts of the business, too.  And after that, there is a food feature with a chef from Quebec, and I am really, really into Quebecoise cuisine these days.  Good recipes, even if one of them is rooster-testicle cassoulet.


-Food Ain't Nothing but Sex Misspelled- This is a series of vaguely pornographic drawings featuring food and sex.  Kind of a waste of paper.


And then, the feature that bridges the gap between the male and female sides, appropriately, an article about sea creatures that spontaneously change sex.  Not interesting in the slightest, once you get past the initial shock of the concept.

And then I started the female side:

-As Alice Sees It- A short piece on Alice Waters and being a woman running a restaurant.  Not that cool. I feel like it would have been better to interview a woman who is in the kitchen NOW, not the 1970s.  Her story has already been told.

-Great Chefs Around the World- By Naomi Duguid (one of the all-time great cookbook authors OF THE WORLD), a short piece celebrating the accomplishments of Burmese housewives, who make literally everything from scratch, every day, with no gadgets or anything.  Makes one feel great respect for women, but the sexism is a little hard to swallow.  Not that that is the fault of the article, she is just reporting the way it is.

Then a piece on the Haenyo Divers, Korean old women who dive for abalone.  Not super interesting, but it is cool to read about such a roughneck job that is traditionally girls-only.

Next, Pussy Rules- An interview with a big bad black lady that works the night shift at The Wiener's Circle in Chicago.   This was cool to read, because these girls are LEGENDARY.  Being from Chicago, I have heard all about this place, its been around forever.

And I will end on this one,

Dick Soup, by Fuchsia Dunlop.  She is an authority on regional Chinese cooking (she is British, but whatever).  I like her writing and have a bit of a crush.  Anyway, she wrote a long article about eating soup made from animal penis, which the Chinese are into.  Kind of a funny article, with a recipe that starts out by calling for Stag Penis.

NEWSFLASH!!!!!  In deference to you, I have been scouring this magazine for anything actually insulting or offensive, and this is the first I have found.  The article itself was well-written and respectful, but I protest it going onto the women's side.  Penis soup is made of male parts, and traditionally eaten by men.  And yet, they put in on the female side of the issue, presumably because female readers are more interested in having dicks in their mouths?  Which is, admittedly, heterocentric.  So I admit, darlin, I did find one thing that was actually disrespectful for gays, lesbians, and anyone else who might have a non-traditional stance on dick-sucking.

Thats all for now.

Lucky Peach, Gender Issue Part 1

Okay, so here is the deal.  Lucky Peach has always meant a lot to me, and not in the least because I was turned on to it by my sweet little sister.  And now, my sweet little sister, playing to stereotype as the easily offended gay woman, has gotten her little tail-feathers in a ruffle and I must defend the Lucky Peach.  It is too emblematic of our friendship to be dismissed so easily...

So what I'm doing is reading each article, and letting you know what you just can't miss.  A lot of it is silly, kinda shoe-horned in to fit the theme, but some of it is cool and so far, none of it has been offensive in the slightest.

Do I think the concept on the whole was kind of dumb?  Yes, of course.  But I think they just got the idea for the cover and went for it.  And as far as you not wanting to see naked men or whatever, please remember that 90% of the population is totally at peace with encountering both sets of equipment throughout our lives.  So lets not be homocentric, my darlin' dear...  :-)

I started with the male side (because I am a chauvinist, of course)

1) The Ten Manliest Meals In America- Tony Bourdain writes an essay about the futility of discovering the 'Manliest' food in the country.  Cute, but skippable.  Interestingly, it sort of makes the point that gender-fueled food journalism is silly by definition.  An intriguing way to start a collection of gender fueled journalism...

2)Dad #1- A long, boring piece on how an Australian chef is able to balance home life and work.  Dullsville.  Don't read this one, not because its offensive, but because you could be reading something engaging instead.

3)America, Your Food is So Gay- A fun little essay about how American cuisine was shaped by 3 gay food writers, Craig Clairborne, James Beard, and Richard Olney.  Read this, and then consider reading some of those guys' works.  Clairborne's stuff is kind of dated, a lot of New York Times cookbooks, not a lot of soul.  However, Richard Olney's stuff is great in that it shows real attitude about the French country gastronomic way of life, kind of like Elizabeth David, who you should also check out.  And James Beard's American Cuisine is THE definitive work on the subject, from the era of the founding fathers up until the gastronomic revolution of the 1970's.

4) In Bloom- A piece about cooking with flowers (which is on the male side because flowers are plant penises...I think).  Interesting.  Nothing earth-shattering about flowers, but they do touch on some cool techniques in practice.  Worth reading, if only to drive home the point that flowers don't taste like much, and require flavorful dishes behind them to highlight them.

5) Wow, this Guy Can Really Cook-  A kind of pointless essay on how John Ritter's character on Three's Company helped push the image of the male chef in America.  I'm too young to remember Three's Company, so I can't imagine you'd get much out of it, plus you and I have grown up in an era where male chefs are the norm.  A historical footnote, nothing more.

6)Horseradish: A Gentleman's Condiment- Fluff piece about a guy that makes handmade horseradish at a market stall.  Inspirational in a do-it-your-self kinda way, but hardly fits the theme.  Good pictures.

7)Deliverance- A collection of interviews with Chinese food deliverers.  Nothing unexpected here.  Just tales of bad tippers, low wages, and long hours.  I was expecting something crazier.  Kinda boring.

8)Hieronymous Beef a la Orange, Christmas Pudding, and the Supernatural Food of Bachelor Mountain Ascents- A trippy piece about mountain climbing.  I don't know why this went on the male side.  Im sure there are female climbers, too, and their camp cooking is just as rough.  The recipes were kind of fun.  Recipes for orange beef and christmas pudding using only trail supplies...  If that grabs you, check it out.

AAAAAAAAAaaaaand, thats as far as I've gotten.  Let me know if you read any of these, and I will post again in a couple of days.

The Ten Commandments of Nouvelle Cuisine, Louisiana Edition (MENU COMPARISON)

Ok...so I FINALLY found the menu that you and I did together for a "Fine Dining" experience with traditional Louisiana Cuisine. I think the best way to do it is to discuss what rules the item follows best and also what rules it doesn't follow at all.   Here goes....

Apps...

Sausage Patter w/ Homemade Pickles and Toast
Follows #10 & #3 (Part 2): I feel like this is a unique way to present a charcuterie platter. Its not your expected cured meats but an assortment of fresh housemade sausage that shows off the many varieties of wild game that can be found in the area.
Disregards #6: The use of pickles was to cut the fat of the sausage but this rule would not like any part of pickles or sausage and certainly not together.

Crawfish Etouffe Dip w/ Rice Crackers
Follows #3 (Kind of), #3 (Part 2), #4 (Part 3), & #5 (Part 2): This Étouffée showcases one of of the most 'famous' creatures of the area...the crawfish. It also slightly lightens the menu by using rice crackers. This plays on the traditional dish usually served over rice making it easily shareable and fun.
Disregards #7: Roux is used as a thickener in the dish.

Oysters on the 1/2 Shell
Follows #1, #2, #3, #3 (Part 2), & #8: This dish is served raw, the ingredients are fresh out of the Gulf, and it is served with a citrus mignonette to brighten the dish. Oysters eaten in moderation are very healthy source of protein.
Disregards #10: This dish is not inventive at all but a great classic.

BBQ Gator w/ Mirliton Slaw
Follows #2 & #3 (Part 2): Fresh local mirlitons and Louisiana gator would make a perfect sweet and savory dish.
Disregards #6.1 (Kind of): Mainly because of the BBQ sauce.

Crab Beignets w/ Remoulade Sauce
Follows #3 & #10: It is a lighter and inventive way to serve crab as appose to crab royal with lots of cream and cheese or crab cakes with lots of butter and bread.
Disregards #8: Still not a very 'healthy' dish.

Ok I am going to stop here for the night and will continue soon. Let me know what you think! I am excited about the discussion this menu is going to bring. Hope you are well.

Wine Tasting Group Episode One

So we joined a wine tasting group.  We each bring a bottle, and we go through the Court of Master Sommeliers tasting grid and try to guess what each other has brought.  Its a bunch of Advanced Sommelier candidates, and me.  To amuse myself, I started recording what dishes I would put with each wine, and am recording them here just so I have them.  This is less of a blog entry and more of me just transposing my notes, so don't feel the need to comment, but I hope you find it interesting.

Wine #1: Sancerre, Domaine Sauterau, 2012 (Dry, grassy, citrusy white)
Food Pairing: Hamachi Sashimi, Mild Ginger Oil, Verjus, Green Papaya, Poppy Seeds
[Dish plays off of acidic and tropical fruit notes in the wine.]

Wine #2: Nikolaihof Gruner Veltliner, Wachau, 2011 (Funky, earthy, surprisingly rich herbal white.)
Food Pairing: Poached Pheasant Breast, Pureed Sunchoke, Toasted Pine Nuts, Chicken Fat-Honey Vinaigrette {using Alsatian honey vinegar}
[Dish matches honeyed, nutty notes in wine, sunchokes match its herbal nature.]

Wine #3: 2011 Chateau Villa Bel-Air Bordeaux Blanc (Minerally, stone fruit/citrus white)
Food Pairing: Half-cooked Salmon, Peas, Pearl Onions, Mint, Parsley, Sel Gris and Parsley Juice
[Dish touches on wines herby notes with the peas, minerally notes with the sea salt.]

Wine #4: Pino Nero, Alto Adige, 2005 (Odd-ball Northern Italian Red)
Food Pairing: Venison Carpaccio, Crispy Black Trumpet Mushrooms, Huckleberry Reduction
[Dish matches wine's black-fruit and spice characteristics, without trampling its subtlety.]

Wine #5: The Wild Boar, Syrah, Cotes de Rousillon 2010 (Rich, full-bodied Southern French Red)
Food Pairing: Pan Roasted Duck Breast, Sauteed Young Kale, Mole Negro Sauce
[The wine wanted game and had a coffee finish that reminded me of mole, the savory Mexican sauce.  The sauce would start with a puree of fried pumpkin seeds, cocoa beans, and sesame seeds, let out with pureed piquillo peppers and reduced duck stock.]

Anyway, that's not really a post, just some ideas.

Nouvelle Louisiana Cuisine

So as you know, I have been thinking recently about Cajun and Creole, and their need of a legitimate reinvention.  I am not talking about what Susan does, of just doing Euro cuisine with the occasional Louisiana ingredient.  I am also not talking about the Tory MacPhail solution: make regular NO restaurant food, but with more foie gras.

I am talking about a thoughtful re-imagining of the two great cuisines of South Louisiana.  As you recall, in 1973, Henri Gault published the 10 commandments of Nouvelle Cuisine, and I feel like they are pretty applicable, even now, all these years later.  I reprint them here, with revisions and addendums.

Part 1:

The Ten Commandments of Nouvelle Cuisine, Louisiana Edition
By Henri Gault, Annotated by Jesse S.

1) Thou shalt not overcook.  
I like this one unedited.

2) Thou shalt use fresh, quality products.
This one too.

3) Thou shalt lighten thy menu.
Cajun and Creole food don't have to be as heavy as they are on most menus.  I'm not saying they will ever be light, but maybe we don't need to put brown roux and bacon fat into absolutely every seafood soup.  Delicate flavors shine through light preparations.

4) Thou shalt not be systematically modernistic.
After all, we want our cuisine to be true to its roots.  Just because we want to honor Louisiana flavors in a modern way doesn't mean we should try to modernize gumbo.  A classic is a classic for a reason.

5) Thou shalt nevertheless seek out what the new techniques can bring you.
This is the soul of Modernist thought.

6) Thou shalt avoid pickles, cured game meats, fermented foods, etc.
This one I am not a big believer in, but I left it in for one reason.  Chefs in the south, particularly proponents of the Lardcore movement, are a little over-reliant on bacon, ham, and sausage.  I love these things, but if you put them in everything, it becomes redundant.  Perhaps we could rephrase:

6.1) Thou shalt avoid slavish over-reliance on cured meats, hot sauce, 'big explosive flavors' and the temptation to make everything taste like barbecue sauce.
See, that is the same idea, but addressing the excesses of our cuisine now, rather than French food in the 60s.

7) Thou shalt eliminate rich sauces.
This one was a little silly, even then.  Nouvelle Cuisine was the home of buerre blanc.  I think by rich, Mr. Gault really meant 'heavy,' like roux-thickened brown sauces with chopped sweetbreads in them.  Butter sauces, hollandaises, these are NOT what he was referring to.  Also, I think this one stands in opposition to commandment 4, in the context of Louisiana cuisine.  To totally eliminate rich sauces is to damage the soul of Cajun cooking.  Perhaps instead of 'eliminate' we could say 'reduce the frequency of.'

8) Thou shalt not ignore dietetics.
I feel like if we respect the urge to cut back on heavy-for-heavy's sake sauces and bacon in everything, this will come naturally.  Also, I feel like this commandment asks us to respect vegetables and their seasonality.  

9) Thou shalt not doctor up thy presentations.
So no garnishing plates with a whole lobster head, there, Emeril.

10) Thou shalt be inventive.
Nuff said.

Part 2

The 5 Additional Commandments of Nouvelle Louisiana Cuisine

1) Thou shalt respect the separate identities of the two component cuisines that make up South Louisiana cuisine, Cajun and Creole.  Thou shalt never utter the phrase "Cajun/Creole cooking.'  Thou shalt respect that city and country can live together on the same menu, but allow each to keep its soul.

2) Thou shalt avoid 'creole seasoning.'  Let each dish have individually selected herb/spice profiles rather than grabbing for the green can of lazy.

3) Thou shalt use, promote, celebrate, and rejoice in the array of amazing, unique products and ingredients that South Louisiana has provided us.

4) Thou shalt respect tradition, even while reinventing classic dishes.

5) Thou shalt never forget that South Lousiana cuisine must, above all else, be fun.



So that's what I've been working on, sweets.  What do you think?  Is Charleston ready for that?

Modernist O.o and ??Questions??

I have always been told that cast iron skillet should be well seasoned and HOW to keep it seasoned but I never knew it had a name for the black non-stick layer that developed over time AKA Patina. I also had no idea that a wok was judged heavily on its patina along with the material makeup.

Have have you ever played with an AccuTemp Griddle? I think they are really fascinating but have a feeling they are incredibly expensive.

Also going back to Roasting...I am confused about they way heat is "acting" when they talk about heat varying at the inverse square of the source. This is the picture I have in my head as to what I think they are talking about. Am I right? and if so could you explain and if not could you also explain lol.

I am going to go home this weekend and pick up my 21 X 15 X 3/4 in. aluminum plate and will either cook pizzas that weekend with my family or very soon! I'll keep you posted of course!